Pride Goes Before A Fall

There was nothing to do but laugh (after first checking for broken things).

"Just don't use your brakes!" Stewart yelled from across the icy expanse.

He'd been the first of our expeditionary party to make it safely across this vast stretch of frozen river in the woods behind the castle at Okoř.

We'd crossed this body of wild water many times, in warm weather and cold, always feeling like kids as we sloshed through, soaking our socks and boots but always tickling our fancies.

This was the first time we'd attempted an ice crossing. Foolhardy, perhaps. But you never feel more alive than you do after cheating death. Staring it in the face and smiling.


Moments before disaster struck.


I've fallen and I can't get up. (Photos of my fall by Stewart Moore. Thanks, Stewart!)

The water moves swiftly in this spot, and the question in our minds was whether the ice was thick enough to hold us. The sun was shining, and temperatures had moderated a bit from the frigid grip of a few days ago.

Stewart was the first to attempt the dangerous traverse. No safety ropes. No spikes on his tires. Only the hair on his chest. And on his face.

Other than a few places where his tires sunk slightly into the surface, sparking a momentary fright, he had no troubles. He made it to the other side. Alive. Dry.

Our friend David Murphy was the next to go, hesitation not being a word found in his vocabulary. At least not on this day. But I'm pretty sure he knows what the word means, generally speaking.

What words are in his vocabulary? Courage, for example. And bravery. Oh, yes, bravery.

Dave set off, and in two or three seconds -- seconds that, to us who were watching, seemed more like hours -- he made it, too.


Dave attempts a crossing, with Stewart safely on the other side.

I was next.

"Just don't use your brakes!" Stewart yelled from across the icy expanse.

I swallowed hard, tasting fear. Or perhaps it was the Jim Beam I'd swigged generously from my flask earlier in the ride. It tasted good.

The ice moaned under my considerable weight. A crack here and there. The sun a blinding flash off the polished surface.

And then, in an instant -- or perhaps it was two -- I was down, and down hard. The bike slid out from under me, and the back of my head, fortunately helmeted -- no fool am I -- struck the frozen water, while my ass made a cute round indentation in the cold wet surface.

Stunned, I lay motionless. Was I alive? Was I broken in any places? I felt no pain. Only shame.

And my butt was cold. Truly.

I burst out laughing.

Man, it's a blast to be out on the bikes!

OK, enough with the purposefully bad writing. On with the unintentionally bad prose...


David and Stewart heading into Černovičky.


Heading down into Černovičky.

I met up the other day with my old riding pal, Stewart, and David Murphy, a good friend of Stewart's whom I haven't really had the chance to ride with. Except for a Critical Mass ride in 2007, but even then we didn't get a chance to talk.

Stewart and Dave rode over to my house in Černý Vůl on a brilliant January day -- deep blue sky, brilliant sunshine. It was a cracker of a day.


The back way into Okoř. No cars anywhere.

Our ultimate destination was going to be the Family Hotel Okoř for some lunch, but we figured we'd take a decidedly circuitous route to get there.

From my house, we headed to Statenice and then Tuchoměřice, heading up the steep hill out of the village that always kicks my ass, past the restaurant L'Auberge de Provence, and then down a small paved road that winds its way through the hamlet of Černovičky before linking up with Male Číčovice. We then followed another path through the forest that eventually links up with Okoř.


Somewhere above Okoř. Does biking get any better than this?

It's one of our favorite ways to get to Okoř -- a minimum of cars and a maximum of pure mountain-biking pleasure.

By the time we got there, it seemed a bit too early for lunch, and the sun was still shining, so we continued riding.

Stewart showed us a cool spot behind Okoř castle. We climbed through some doorways in an old stone wall that appeared to be part of the castle somehow, and admired an old, abandoned villa back there that is just crying out for someone to buy it and turn it into a restaurant or hotel. Some sort of restitution problem is holding things up, I'd reckon.


Behind Okoř castle, where we did a little Urban Exploring.


From inside the castle wall.


This place (above and below) could be something with a little tender-loving care (and a few million dollars).



Stewart wanted to explore some trails he'd seen, so we climbed a steep, snowy path that seemed certain to lead somewhere cool. We just get riding, through farmer's fields and a forest labeled as a protected pheasant sanctuary.

We stopped in the woods and warmed up with a few swigs from my flask of Jim Beam, and somehow ended up in a long conversation about the latest James Bond movie, "Quantum of Solace," compared with "Casino Royale" (there's no comparison, in my book; "Casino" wins hands-down), as well as the latest Batman movie, "Dark Knight," compared with the previous film, "Batman Begins." (Again, no comparison, "Batman Begins" is the far superior movie.)

We finally headed on our way, down some snowy, slippery trails through the trees, tentatively crossing the first of what would be two frozen streams, unsure if the ice would hold us, before linking up with some familiar trails behind Okoř.

That's when I fell crossing the second frozen stream.

From there, we headed into Okor for some hot soup and a beer.


A bowl of soup and a beer at Hotel Okor.

By the time we finished, the clouds had started to invade, and it was time to head home. We had kids to pick up from school and shopping to be done.

The real world began to intrude.

Thank God, though, for these escapes. They clear the mind, strengthen the heart, and cement friendships.

RIDE STATS
Length of ride: 25 kilometers
Average speed: 14 kph
Maximum speed: 42.4 kph
Pivo Index: 1
Time on the bike: 1.35.24
Distance ridden so far in 2009: 61 kilometers


I've gotten pretty good at taking pictures with one hand while steering with the bike with the other. It's a little hairy if the trail is bumpy and icy, though. I end up with a lot of pictures of my biking buddies' backsides.


We're all in love with this fantastical house behind Okoř, with its yard full of fanciful sculptures and the house itself a storybook vision from the English countryside.


A railroad bridge behind Okoř that looks like some sort of ancient aqueduct.


I am including this photo only to be able to say that I managed to ride all the way up this steep, snowy slope. Not everyone managed to ride up. Some had to carry their bikes. ;-)


The 14th-century Castle Okoř. If you haven't been to Okoř yet, you're missing out. Very cool.


The stream that flows by Castle Okoř.

No Such Thing As Routine

Sun and fog at the top of the hill near Statenice.

The sun was shining.

The temperatures had moderated.

I was working a late shift and had the morning free.

A perfect recipe for a mid-January bike ride.

I donned all my cold-weather gear and headed for the garage.

Only to find my bike with a very flat front tire.

Bummer.

For a moment, I considered canceling the ride, but figured I might as well fix the flat and head out.


The front flat fixed, and despite the snow, ready for the road.

I also laughed to myself, remembering my last ride, the last few kilometers with Stewart, in complete darkness, the temperature at -8 Celsius, with three whiskies and two beers in me, on deserted country roads.

Thank God I didn't get the flat then. Whew.

Or perhaps I did have a flat and didn't realize it, although that's pretty hard to believe. I guess it must have been a slow leak.

In any event, I felt pretty lucky.

I changed the flat in my garage, my fingers benumbed by the cold. Again, thank God I didn't have to do that drunk and in the dark.

Finally, with AC/DC's "Rock 'N Roll Train" rattling my eardrums, I set out for a short ride -- my usual 14-kilometer loop from my house in Černý Vůl, northwest of Prague, to Statenice, up the lung-busting hill to Lichoceves, hanging a right over to Velké Přílepy, down to Úholičky, then up another steep, circuitous hill to the Roztoky highway, then down -- hurrah! -- to Únětice, and back home.


A pretty country road between Úholičky and Roztoky.

It's a perfect hourlong run, with two challenging hills, some flat stretches, and one good downhill.

I'd much rather spend an hour like this in the cold than hop on a stationary bike at the gym. I just find that so incredibly boring.

I had expected a pretty routine run -- there's not a lot of obvious adventure on this particular route -- but I should know by now that, around here, even the most mundane ride usually contains a few surprises.

At the top of the hill out of Statenice, I found myself riding through both brilliant sunshine and a mysterious fog that would have seemed more appropriate in the lowlands. It was beautiful.

As usual, I saw kestrels and hawks hunting for mice in farmer's fields still blanketed by snow.

Piles of steaming manure.

Cars driving past me way too fast.

Dogs barking as I pedal by.

It sure beats the gym.

RIDE STATS
Length of ride: 14 kilometers
Average speed: 17.1 kph
Maximum speed: 45.8 kph
Time on the bike: 00.48.03
Distance ridden so far in 2009: 36 kilometers


More sun and fog.

The Mystery Of The Forest Revealed?

No signs. No nothing. Just a guard dog.

In my last post, I wrote about a mysterious forest that Stewart and I rode into on our bikes.

Within the forest is a secret walled compound protected by at least one guard dog. There are no signs indicating what this place is. As I said, it feels like the kind of place where the CIA might take Al-Qaeda suspects for a little waterboarding.

I asked my friend, the Beer Philosopher, who lives in the village of Holubice, nearby, if he knew anything about the forest or the walled compound.

Here's what he wrote:

Yes, I know about it. I love it, I can see it from my "office" at home. :)

Its name is Erz, and together with another two around Tursko forms a kind of trinity of ancient sacred forests.

This one in particular seems to be the most sacred of all.

According to legends, Čestmír, an ancient Czech hero, was buried there after he died in battle against the Lučany that decided the war in favor of the Czechs. (That battle, by the way, was apparently fought in the meadow between Tursko and Kozinec, right behind my house.)

It is said that Čestmír was the Czech version of Tyr, the war god for the Germanic peoples (Vikings included), who, in turn, had a Roman counterpart, Mars, who was turned into St. Martin by the early church.

I heard that during the Cold War the Russians had an AA base hidden there to protect the airport. There are still some concrete buildings right in the middle of the forest.

The latest I've heard is that McDonald's was using them as a factory for ice cream cones (the ones made of biscuit), though I've never seen any signs proving it.

Anyway, it seems that there are security guards with dogs guarding the buildings. I've never been too far inside myself.

Whatever it is, it is a really cool place.


View Larger Map
The forest with the walled compound is just west of Tursko. You can see the forest in this Google map. You can even click to enlarge to get a bird's-eye view of what's inside the walled compound.

The Icemen Rideth

A man, his bike, and his balaclava.

I'm thinking about riding out. Join me. Bring tyre chains!

That was the text message from Stewart on a recent day. It was very cold, icy, and snowy, yes, but the sky was summer blue. And there was this giant glowing yellow orb in the sky. I wasn't quite sure what it was; I only know it had a mysterious power. It made me feel better about life.

I wrote Stewart back and said yes, let's meet at The Smallest Pub In The World in Úholičky for a winter's ride, what would be the first ride of the new year.

I stuffed my backpack with all manner of winter gear, including some sort of magic toe and hand warmers, as well as a balaclava, extra gloves, and a flask filled with Jim Beam.

And it was cold, especially on the downhills. My face was frozen before I even saw Stewart.


Stewart brushes himself off after a fall.

We took our usual route from Úholičky, up the hill to Tursko, and then headed into the fields and forests in search of undiscovered paths.

We spied massive hawks or falcons hunting in the snow, and watched as hares seemingly the size of German shepherds chased after one another, looking for love.

The conditions at time were treacherous. Stewart took a hard fall in Tursko after riding across a frozen puddle hidden by the snow. I was out front and didn't see him tumble, but nearly fell myself turning around to see if he was OK.

We ended up biking through a large section of forest between Tursko and Kozinec that has always been something of a mystery. It's listed on the maps as some sort of protected forest, but the reasons are unknown.


We passed two frozen ponds covered with ice skaters. This one is between Velké Přílepy and Úholičky.

Intriguingly, in the middle of the forest was a walled compound, protected by a large, barking dog (see below).

There was no indication of what this compound might be, but it's safe to say that whatever they're doing there, they're not interested in having anyone know about it. It felt very weird to me.


Looks like a place where people go and bad things happen without anybody ever knowing about it.

Perhaps someone reading this has more insight into what's going on there.

We stopped for a nip or two of the Jim Beam right about here, and then continued on toward Svrkyně and down a back path we know that led to another trail behind the village of Okoř.

In Svrkyně, we came upon another frozen pond full of skaters:



Our destination, again, was to have a beer at the Family Hotel in Okoř, which is where we indeed ended up.

By this time, my fingertips were aching from the cold, despite my lobster-claw gloves, and my toes felt on the verge of frostbite.

We sat inside the restaurant, next to the radiator, and let the slow burn of three glasses of Ballantine's and two beers work their magic. Our fingers and toes thawed and our tongues loosened.


The clouds on this day were spectacular.

A few hours later and it was time for the hard part, to head home in the pitch black and bitter cold. The cold seemed to feed off the night, making the temperature seem even worse than it was, whatever it was.

But it was also somehow exhilarating to be riding on the empty country roads beneath the canopy of stars, the warm glow from the whisky helping to light the way.

We parted ways as we always do in Velké Přílepy, Stewart heading home to Roztoky, me to Černý Vůl.


Our tire tracks after riding through a frozen farmer's field.

A few hours later, I received the following e-mail from Stewart:

I'm sitting here wrapped in an orange sleeping bag. Kathleen took charge as soon as I crossed the living room door, my feet are at the fire and my cat (Flukey) tucked under my arm dozing.

I got home, finally, again like last time, with frozen legs. I've come to realize that the river is an especially cold place to ride where I find the temp drops and I find it hard to ride. A train came and I walked across the platform after it passed, just as well as it was so slippery I would have come a cropper again today.

I stopped for a moment to look at the stars and saw my own UFO. A meteorite flared across the sky. I checked on my iPhone and it's minus 8 outside...God knows what it was by the Vltava. But that's what we rode back in. Minus 8.

When I was riding home I took a sook of the camelbak and brother it was frozen friggin solid...I clung on in hope of a slushy, but nothing. The race was on to get home and warm.

Cool as always.

~Stoo

RIDE STATS
Length of ride: 22 kilometers
Average speed: 12.4 kph
Maximum speed: 38.3 kph
Pivo Index: 3 whiskies, 2 beers
Time on the bike: 1.45.24
Distance ridden so far in 2009: 22 kilometers


The sun shines through a railroad tunnel somewhere near Okoř.


Scenes from a sunny, snowy ride (above and below).