Wednesday, May 29, 2013

She-Nanigans



Long-lost high-school buddies Daisy and Katy reunite for a day of biking in the Czech countryside. Would they survive?

When Katy and Daisy were in high school together, risk was rarely a concern. One of them once ran down the corridor of their junior high with their skirt accidentally tucked into the top of their pantyhose. Another one gave a speech with her jaw wired shut. And they both frequently jumped off the 10-meter platform at Penn State's outdoor pool. Penn State! In retrospect, we can all appreciate how dangerous this was for teenagers.

So they were a little surprised at Grant's abundance of caution when they set out for a day's bike ride around the briefly non-rainy environs of Prague.

"Be careful!" he said, possibly about 20 times. "Do you have your phones? The paths are really muddy, you know. Stay on the roads. And avoid traffic! The traffic that you might see on the roads that I told you to stay on!"

Undaunted, they left. Almost immediately, they encountered a biker's worst fear: the dreaded drainage ditch.



Able to leap random culverts in a single bound. Just not on camera. 

Not to be deterred, they made their way over not one but two perilous canals of death, the threat of a freak flash flood ever-present in their minds. Emotionally drained, they thought it best to stop for sustenance.



Enamored with Czech food, especially the beer

As a reward for their perseverance, they chose Únětický Pivovar, a restaurant that offers the finest duck confit in all the land. Throwing caution to the winds, Katy boldly substituted her red cabbage, asking for potato salad instead. This had the rest of the clientele talking for hours.



No time to stop for kava.

Fully refueled, the duo immediately set out on the remainder of their journey.

Instead of taking the long journey, they bravely decided to extend their pilgrimage even further and take the really, really, really long journey.



Are there snakes in here? 

Plowaging (new word!) forward and trying to avoid the dangerous Czech truck drivers and roadside banana-peel kill, Daisy and Katy also faced the challenge of navigating a random canola field.



Fiascoville. 

After surviving the threat of allergies, ticks, and random piles of POOP (eds: cq) in the canola field, they were thrown into yet another debacle -- the raging river of Divoká Šárka, and the loss of all navigational instincts. 



"Help me."

Having successfully pedaled their way upstream, they then encountered a sight so shocking they were stopped in their tracks. A tiny girl in pink, CHAINED behind a fence, with only a flesh-eating rabbit as company.

Soon they realized that she was just an ordinary girl with a pet rabbit named Fauda, who bit her once, mildly. The chain was just a hilarious prop. Everyone parted on good terms.

In what was undoubtedly bad news for Fauda, Katy and Daisy rounded a corner only to encounter something even more interesting than a pet rabbit.



Goats. 

Seeing these nimble alpine creature, nibbling contentedly on meadow grasses, Katy and Daisy knew it was time to go home and start blogging.

See, Grant, there was nothing to be worried about!

RIDE STATS
Length of ride: 200 miles
Average speed: Faster than a speeding bullet
Maximum speed: Even faster
Pivo index: 2.5 x 2 = 5, but it felt like more
Distance ridden so far in 2013: Classified

2 comments:

Booda said...

nice one...and I know that drainage ditch very well, you did the right thing riding there and not on that wacky races road!...and Unetice pivovar, where we all started our last bike ride together...and ended it...nearly.

Grant Podelco said...

I love it when folks do guest posts for my blog! (Hint! Hint! Říp)

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